warriorsfanficfandomcom-20200213-history
I Almost Do(Songfic)
NOTE:SPECIAL THANKS TO RAINY FOR THE NAME OF SMOKEHEART! I Almost Do I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week. Goldenflower sighed, her gaze tracing across the warriors den from where she was sitting, all the way to the other side where Smokeheart, her one true love sat calmly. He seemed worn out, which shouldn't have been surprising to Goldenflower. He was the deputy of the Clan after all. He had always been dead tired by the end of the day when the two of them had been mates, and Goldenflower could remember pestering him to take her out on a walk or something. He had been too exhausted to accept her offers, although it appeared that he really wanted to spend some quality time with her. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city. And I bet sometimes you wonder about me. Smokeheart pushed himself up to his paws, and Goldenflower quickly lowered her gaze, eager to make sure he didn't know she had been starring at him the whole time. She could almost feel his pelt against hers as he brushed passed the den, heading out of camp, she knew, as he had done every night. He would probably be going outside to gaze at the stars, and watch they as they shone brightly under the night. She had watched him doing it so many nights before they were mates, while they were mates, and occasionally even after they were mates. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. Goldenflower could barely resist the urge to push herself up to her paws and chase after the tom who she had loved for so many moons. She could clearly remember his scent, the touch of his fur against hers and the wild feeling that reached her whenever they were together. She had been free when she was with him; every moment they spent together was one she felt she couldn't have used any better. Seeing the light in his eyes made way for a brand new light inside of her. Hearing his voice unlocked a surge of joy she would cling to. It still did. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. But Smokeheart didn't even glance in the direction of Goldenflower as he paddled along, trying to hold his tail high and hide how tired Goldenflower knew that he was really was. Goldenflower had to fight back harsh tears as he calmly walked out as if there was no loss of balance in his life and all was fine. Because two moons later Goldenflower was still struggling to smile again, to laugh again, to go for a short period of time without thinking about him then losing concentration while fighting the grand urge to just curl up and cry until she couldn't anymore. But Smokeheart seemed fine. I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply. Goldenflower had tried to send Smokeheart several hints that she missed him, that she still loved him, and that she would give anything to be with him. He seemed to ignore them all, brushing them off like the annoying pests that wouldn't leave Goldenflower alone when the weather was warmer. She had tried to begin conversations with him, make comments that could be taken romantically and even get him to go on walks with her. But he shot them all down as quickly as they sprung up, and sent Goldenflower returning to the warriors' den while fighting hot tears. I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you And risk another goodbye. Goldenflower had completely given up on her efforts to win back Smokeheart and decided to settle with being grateful that he hadn't moved onto another she-cat. Because that would be the cruelest thing that could ever be done to her. At least this way she could hold some hope in her heart that Smokeheart may return to her. Even though she was almost sure that it was fake hope; one that could never aid her and would only leave her disappointed sooner or later. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. Goldenflower gently pushed herself up to her paws, her eyes trailing after Smokeheart, as she followed him quietly several steps behind him. "Hey, Goldenflower!" The cream she-cat shot her head up to see Dearskip bounding towards her, her brown, sleek pelt quickly sliding next to her friends. "Hey," Goldenflower managed a smile, shooting a look at Smokeheart out of the corner of her eye. "How was your day?" Deerskip questioned, and Goldenflower gave her a gentle shrug. "Nothing special." "Well when you return to the warriors' den I have to tell you something," There was an excited gleam in the eyes of Deerskip and Goldenflower nodded carefully. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. As soon as Deerskip had disappeared Goldenflower shot her gaze back to Smokeheart only to find that the deputy was starring at her. Their eyes locked for several long, unbearable moment. Goldenflower felt the need to say something, something that could make everything alright between the two of them yet again. But she couldn't. Sighing, she turned around and headed towards the fresh-kill pile; wondering if that awkward tingling on her spine was there because Smokeheart was gazing at her. Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It's probably better off this way. And I confess, babe, Goldenflower still wasn't exactly sure what caused them to break apart from each other; she doubted that there was actually a reason. They had first fallen in love when they were apprentices, and had confessed to each other a moon after Smokeheart became a warrior, while Goldenpetal was still an apprentice. Two moons later Goldenpetal had become a warrior and they were closer than they had ever been. But it was a moon after that, when Smokeheart became deputy and Goldenpetal began to make several new friends that they slowly began to drift apart due to a lack of time spent with each other. In my dreams you're touching my face And asking me if I wanna try again with you. And I almost do. Over the course of a moon they had begun to grow further and further detached from one another. There were several small fights that had taken place between them, and then after five moons they had spent together one large fight had torn them apart. Goldenflower had to wreck through her memory to remember that their argument had actually started over which piece of prey they would take from the fresh-kill pile. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. Goldenflower sighed, as she picked out a mouse. She could remember that Smokeheart had wanted the mouse while she had insisted that they get the sparrow instead. There was a sparrow lying on the fresh-kill pile but Goldenflower refused to look at it. She sighed, heading towards the warriors' den to hear whatever it was that was so important which Dearskip absolutely had to tell her. She was pretty sure it would just be petty tom drama, something Deerskip was a little too into and shared all the details of with Goldenflower. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. Smokeheart was still standing in the middle of camp a confused expression on his face as Goldenflower watched him pain surging through her at the sight of him. She had gone through a moon of torture where she tried to communicate with him; get him to pay attention to her understand what was going through her mind. And she was finally tired of hoping. Setting the mouse back down, she sighed. I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city. Smokeheart was heading out of camp, to go gaze at the stars as Goldenflower had done with him several nights before they had fought. Hopefully she could do it again tonight. "Smokeheart!" She called after the deputy, bounding quickly to catch up to him, ignoring the rapid beating of her heart, as he turned aroudn to face her. Their golden eyes locked for a moment. "Is something wrong." "Uh..." Goldenpetal paused, catching her breath for a moment, "I just wanted you to know something..." "What's that?" "I miss you so much, Smokeheart, I'm really sorry for everything that happened between us-I don't spend a day without thinking about you," Goldenpetal paused before continuing, "And- And I hope sometimes you wonder about me. Sequel: The Last Time Category:Robo's Songfics Category:Robo's Fanfics Category:Songfic